RAGING HORMONES??

I am feeling a little grumpy lately. I know that it is pregnancy, plus I have always been a very emotional person.
I am so excited that our little boy is almost here, but I am SO scared of giving birth. It probably sounds silly because, after all, I have done this before. But it is scarier this time, because I know what is coming.
I am really snapping at people a lot. I mean, not all the time, I am not a monster :) But enough that it is upsetting me.
I find that I have very little patience with my mother, especially. She seems to know exactly what buttons to push to drive me crazy, and I am definitely letting her get to me. I don't think she is doing it on purpose, I am taking complete responsibility. Well alright, I will place some of the blame on my RAGING HORMONES again :) But, I need to get a grip!
I haven't really had much to blog about lately and when I sat down today this is what came out. So, obviously, I need to resolve this issue.
As usual I feel better just writing it out, I guess I should blog more often.
I will make a conscious goal to be kinder to my mother. After all, who needs the bad Karma? If I am ugly to my mother, I may be dealing with a really cranky baby for a very long time :)

Happy thoughts :)

Sheduled Joy

I have been a little sick this weekend. It is a really yucky sinus infection or something, so I have a wonderful headache :) My daughter is sick too, poor baby.
I am so glad that I am in a better frame of mind lately. Before, if I got sick, I would hide under the covers and feel miserable and sorry for myself. But not now. I refuse to feel worse than I have to. I think healthy thoughts, I take care of myself and I go on with my routine. I mean, I feel like I am like twelve months pregnant right now, so it is a little more difficult, but I still do my best. I used to take time out of my day to focus on how crappy I was feeling, and now I refuse to do it. I will focus on the positive, even when I am feeling under the weather, and I really do feel better faster.
I was thinking about this the other day. The fact that I used to waste time on negative thoughts and feelings, when I should have been focusing on positive things instead. It actually occurred to me when I was reading a post on the pregnancy site I visit. A woman was talking about how her husband is going away in April, and when she marked it on the calendar she realized it was the one year anniversary of her mother's death. She was unsure if she wanted her husband to go away, because she planned on being upset on this day.
I was thinking that it seems weird to me that people schedule time for sadness. I understand that it would be a rough day, I would be upset too. But why are we so much more likely to schedule sadness than joy? I have decided that I will not 'schedule' sadness anymore. I mean when it comes I will feel it, and deal with it, and experience it. But I will no longer plan for it. I am choosing to plan for happiness and joy. I won't hide from sadness, but I won't go looking for it either!

Have a great day :)

The Journey

I am feeling pretty agitated right now. I know why, It is completely clear to me. I woke up in a really great mood, then after one phone call I am feeling miserable. Why do I let others have so much influence over my mood? Possibly because I am a sucker? No, because sometimes I forget to be as positive as I want to be and I take on other people's negative issues. I shouldn't do it. But hey, I am only human. So I guess it is bound to happen once in a while. After all this is a journey, and I am learning as I go.
Right now just writing is actually helping me to get rid of some of the negative feelings and thoughts I was having, who knew? I know that when I am feeling negative a great exercise, for me anyway, is to clearly visualize how I want to be feeling. I also restate my positive goals and then I usually feel better. Today I was just determined to stay grumpy I guess.
Maybe I should start writing down my goals as I blog, then I may think of new ones and keep on going.
Some of my goals are: to have an attitude of gratitude, to be more confident, to see the beauty in everything and everyone, to Practice the Four Agreements: Be impeccable with my word/ Don't take anything personally/ Don't make assumptions/ Always do my best, to let go of the past, to forgive, and to be the change I want to see in the world.
Those are not all of them, it is just part of my list from 43 things, but putting them down again makes me see exactly where I need to focus my energy. I definitely do not have room for negative thoughts.
I am off now, to be more positive for the rest of the day :)

Sending positive thoughts out to you too!