Fall

I am loving the weather lately! It really feels like fall is on the way.
I love fall!
It is my favourite season by far. I love the smells, I love the sounds of leaves crunching, I love all the colours. I really just love everything about fall.

















I was looking through my pictures today, and I came across these ones. They are some that I took last year, and they really say Autumn to me. I can almost smell the leaves.










Just thought I would share them, they made me smile :)
I hope you enjoy them too!

I Love Books

So, if you have read any of my previous posts, you may know that I like to read. Actually that is a huge understatement. I LOVE to read. As a child I used to imagine how cool it would be to be locked in a huge old library for the night. I love the smell of books, I love the look of them, I just absolutely loooove books. If I am looking for information you can always find me with my nose buried in a book. I read all the time. I read if I am upset, if I am bored, if I am enjoying some alone time.

I think I may be an emotional reader :)

Cleaning Up!

I have been feeling out of sorts lately. I don't usually use that phrase, but I don't know how else to describe it.
I was grumpy, irritable and just feeling altogether dissatisfied. I couldn't figure it out. I have everything I thought I always wanted and life is going great.
The only change is that I have been going deeper while trying to work out some of my personal issues and I have really been trying to figure out who I am. I am reading some amazing books and articles. I am learning a lot of helpful new affirmations and visualization techniques, and I feel like I am really heading in the right direction.
So why am I feeling so junky???
Today while I was having my shower I think I figured it out. It is my perfectionism taking over!
You may be wondering why the shower triggered this revelation but it will all make perfect sense in a minute, trust me;)
OK, so one of my stops on this journey of self-discovery was to the Fly lady. I really love her group and have received a lot of very helpful and informative e-mails since I joined.
Well last week as I was reading my fly lady e-mails I came across one from a woman who had written in about her shower.
Apparently she had a really dirty shower and she kept putting off cleaning it because the thought of doing the whole thing until it was perfect was overwhelming. She finally realized that her perfectionism was taking over and that some scrubbing is better than no scrubbing. If she could just give up trying to be perfect and use baby steps eventually it would be done.
I am sure this is what I have been doing to myself.
I have been so bogged down with trying to be perfect or with being overwhelmed by the amount of things I need to work through. I wanted to fix all of my problems NOW and I wasn't getting anywhere.
So in the shower I clued in. Instead of getting frustrated and overwhelmed at how much work, or self-improving, I have to do I need to start small. I need to take baby steps. I need to do a little at a time and eventually I will get there.
I am on my way and there is no time limit. I plan on enjoying this journey, so I will not ruin it by trying to make it perfect. I am going to enjoy myself every step of the way. I am so grateful for all of my experiences.

Today I am especially grateful because I learned something about myself....and my shower is really clean:)

Who Would I Be?

I am reading quite a few books right now. I think I must be going through some kind of change, spiritually, and books are where I always head when my world feels like it is turning upside down.
I am trying to figure out who I want to be. I know that may sound silly, after all I am thirty-one years old. Not only do I not know who I am but I also don't know who I want to be.
I am trying to flow with the process, just let things come as they will, and eventually I will get there. I suppose I will breathe a sigh of relief and say "so here I am, this is me!"
But I can't seem to let the process flow, I am trying to guide it and push it and force it along. So... enter the books.
They are great books, and I find them inspiring, but for some reason since I have been reading I have gone from feeling hopeful to anxious. And from focused to flighty.
I am sure this is just my perfectionism trying to take over. I am feeling very unsatisfied in most areas of my life right now. I am not unhappy, but I feel as though I am missing something. Anyway, back to the books. I read a sentence in one of them that is really sticking with me. It was from Excuses Begone!. The quote is 'If no one told me who I was, who would I be?' I think this is an amazing question.
The author advises me to 'quietly meditate on this by spending time in the spaciousness of not knowing.' There is my problem. I started out quietly meditating and then I started pushing.
I hate not knowing!
I guess my task for today will be to take fifteen minutes of time for myself and just relax. I will meditate and I will visualize and I will not push. Instead of putting a time limit on my journey I will take a few minutes and enjoy the possibilities.

I am ready to enjoy the journey, wish me luck :)